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Well I figured I couldn't put it off any longer, but the babies aren't doing very well and we are very worried about them. Last week the doc(specialist) said that he didn't think that they were going to make it. They have slowed way down in their growth. He did say that we could try some stuff like bed rest and blood thinner injections but he thought that it was too late for that. For those of you who do not know this is basically the same thing that happened with Callie only she was farther along. She was able to get to 1 lb 13 oz before we had to deliver. The twins are one at 11 oz. and the other is 12 oz. He said if we could get them over 1 lb each than they might have a chance. So we are doing the
bed rest and shots so hopefully everything we are trying will be enough to get them here. We could also use as much faith and prayers we can get.
What I Wish Everyone Knew
I wish everyone knew that this hurt never goes away. We still need support, and I still need to hear my son and daughters' name. Now, even more than before, I NEED to have their lives validated.
I wish everyone knew ....that even though my babies' deaths were the most painful experience of my life, I am grateful for the pain, and I would still choose to have them even knowing that it would end the same....and I would give anything to cuddle them in my arms again, if only for a brief moment.
I wish everyone knew... that my heart leaps with joy every time someone asks me about my babies.
I wish everyone knew that a baby's age or size at birth or death does not determine to how much of a person he or she was or how much they will be loved or missed.
I wish everyone knew that an early miscarriage and/or losing a tiny baby is just as difficult and painful as losing any other child.
I wish everyone knew how much I need to talk about mybabies, and how happy it makes me when someone asks about them.
I wish everyone knew the struggle that I go through everyday to answer the simplest questions, like: How many children do you have?
I wish everyone knew it is ok to talk about my loss.
I wish everyone knew that I think of my babies all the time.
I wish everyone knew that I have completely changed because of my experiences.
I wish everyone knew how much I love and miss my babies.
I wish everyone knew how much I need to talk about them and remember them.
I wish everyone knew what it felt like to hold them, still, perfect, breathtaking and have to leave them.
I wish everyone knew what it felt like to long for just 1 more second with their baby. Maybe then they could truly cherish all the billions of seconds they get with theirs.
I wish everyone knew that us mommies who lose our babies carry them with us everywhere we go...for the rest of our lives...and to say we are changed...is putting it rather lightly.
I wish everyone knew and appreciated what an absolute miracle each and every child is, from conception to birth, viable and enviable.
I wish everyone knew that even though I can smile and go to work and "function" like everyone else, I'm not like everyone else.
I wish everyone knew that even if you don't know what to say to me, saying nothing at all is more painful than you can imagine. Ignoring me and never speaking to me again because it makes you uncomfortable to be around me is worse than being uncomfortable or saying the wrong thing.
17 comments:
We are thinking of you.
I really hope everything goes well. We'll keep you in our prayers!
Darcie-I wish you guys the best of luck. I am so sorry that you have such a hard time. We will keep you and those sweet little babies in our prayers!!! Good luck.
Glow
It broke my heart to hear that things aren't going as well as you'd hope. You & the babies will definately be in our prayers. Let us know if there's anything you need!!!
we are praying for you and the babies Darcie...hang in there!
just wanted to you know again that we love you and you are always in our prayers and thoughts.
Brandon and Darcie...I just want to give you both a big hug! You're both amazing and I'll be saying some extra prayers that everything goes well.
Oh Darcie - I was shocked to have read that. I am sorry. I really don't even know what to say. You are such a strong lady - truely. I have admired you for ALL that you have been through.
Thank you for the comment when I had my miscarriage - it meant a lot because I knew that you meant what you said. I too pray for you and of course those precious babies.
Good Luck Darcie!
Seriously do you need anything??
We will keep praying for you. I hope that you can have these babies. They need a good mom like you! If you need anything let me know I will be there asap! Good Luck!
Darc~ you and the twins will be in our prayers, I am going to the temple this week so I'll put your name in there as well. We love you and will keep praying for you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
You're all in our prayers. Let us know if there is anything more we can do like a combined fast or something. We love you!
You're in our prayers. We hope that all goes well. Trust in the Lord.
Darci,
I'm so sorry we will keep you in our prayers. I hope everything goes ok.. If you need anything at all please let me know. Kortnee
Oh Darci... I think my heart just broke. I want you all to know that I'm praying for you all. Hang in there and maybe I'll see you all before too long.
Hugs and kisses all around.
Karla
Darcie, I am so sorry to hear that. I have been thinking about you lately and hoping everything was OK. I will be praying for you and the babies. Love you guys.
Cara Crump
I'm so sorry Darcie, you and your family will be in our prayers.
I have been thinking about you; wondering how things were going. How are you? Let us know if you need ANYTHING!!!
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