Tuesday, October 06, 2009

???

Yes I know I haven't done a whole lot lately with our blog! I haven't been that motivated to keep it up. I didn't take very many pictures this past summer. And we didn't do anything very fun. Just a very boring summer. Perfect conditions for identity crisis! Enough said about that!
We did get through the adoption application process and were approved a couple weeks ago. Now Brandon has ran out of work and I'm trying to find a job(I don't want to have to). So our financial stability has pretty much crushed beneath us and now being able to adopt looks like it won't happen. And it makes me so sad. To have been so close to having a solution to our infertility and have it be taken away so fast. I'm just getting so tired and emotionally exhausted from the ups and downs....


I did get some cute pics of Callie the last couple weeks.

Here she is pretending to do the dishes. And having fun!

We did finish our new (used) Kitchen table. I was really pleased with how well it turned out!

Callie and I made paper dolls the other day. It was a lot of fun!

We have a really sick tree in our front yard and a bunch of the limbs broke this summer, so Brandon cut them off tonight and in the process dumped a TON of leaves on the ground. So Callie and I raked them up. She loves to help us with what we are doing so I need to learn to be more patient and let her help.

5 comments:

Matt and Melissa said...

I am so sorry to hear about the job and adoption process. I know you really had your hopes up. Is their any thing I can do to help. I also understand of being tired of the emotional roller coster. We need to take a fun vacation together!
p.s. the last picture of callie is so cute! What a beautiful little girl you have!

Dallin and Cara said...

Wow, Darcie, your post made me cry. I'm so sorry about your husband's job because I know it meant more to you than just being able to pay the bills. I know how much you want to grow your family, and I can only imagine how urgent it must feel to you. I wish there was something I could do for you... just know I will be praying for you, both for a new job and a new baby. If we only knew Heavenly Father's plans for us in advance, wouldn't it be so much easier??? :)

Amber said...

my dear sweet darc. where do i begin? the tears are rolling down my cheeks as i write this to you. how is this possible? you are more deserving then anyone i know to have a baby!!! i know that brandon will get more work and you WILL get the baby that has already picked you to be his/her parents up in heaven. they just have to take the long way of getting to you. i know that Heavenly Father has something really perfect in mind for you. i love you darc. you are one of my best friends and i don't know what i would do without you. i'm ALWAYS here no matter what or when! you are in my prayers and my thoughts always.

ps Callie is adorable! always be thankful for her, she is your miracle baby.

Lori Harris said...

Great job on the kitchen table and Callie is as cute as ever!!

Sorry to hear about Brandon's job and the adoption process. Things will work out. My husband got laid off from work last Christmas and it was a tough time for us, but I now realize that we made it through and we are better for having that experience. Have you ever thought of joining Melaleuca? We joined a couple of months ago and have loved the products and the extra income from it. Good luck and hang in there!!! :)

alicia.king said...

Darcie! My goodness...I say you have had your trials! ahhh! I know it is so hard to feel the way you do, and for all that you have been through. He must have something really really special planned for your family! Seriously! Hang in there!

What I Wish Everyone Knew

I wish everyone knew that this hurt never goes away. We still need support, and I still need to hear my son and daughters' name. Now, even more than before, I NEED to have their lives validated.

I wish everyone knew ....that even though my babies' deaths were the most painful experience of my life, I am grateful for the pain, and I would still choose to have them even knowing that it would end the same....and I would give anything to cuddle them in my arms again, if only for a brief moment.

I wish everyone knew... that my heart leaps with joy every time someone asks me about my babies.

I wish everyone knew that a baby's age or size at birth or death does not determine to how much of a person he or she was or how much they will be loved or missed.

I wish everyone knew that an early miscarriage and/or losing a tiny baby is just as difficult and painful as losing any other child.

I wish everyone knew how much I need to talk about mybabies, and how happy it makes me when someone asks about them.

I wish everyone knew the struggle that I go through everyday to answer the simplest questions, like: How many children do you have?

I wish everyone knew it is ok to talk about my loss.

I wish everyone knew that I think of my babies all the time.

I wish everyone knew that I have completely changed because of my experiences.

I wish everyone knew how much I love and miss my babies.

I wish everyone knew how much I need to talk about them and remember them.

I wish everyone knew what it felt like to hold them, still, perfect, breathtaking and have to leave them.

I wish everyone knew what it felt like to long for just 1 more second with their baby. Maybe then they could truly cherish all the billions of seconds they get with theirs.

I wish everyone knew that us mommies who lose our babies carry them with us everywhere we go...for the rest of our lives...and to say we are changed...is putting it rather lightly.

I wish everyone knew and appreciated what an absolute miracle each and every child is, from conception to birth, viable and enviable.

I wish everyone knew that even though I can smile and go to work and "function" like everyone else, I'm not like everyone else.

I wish everyone knew that even if you don't know what to say to me, saying nothing at all is more painful than you can imagine. Ignoring me and never speaking to me again because it makes you uncomfortable to be around me is worse than being uncomfortable or saying the wrong thing.