So the Adoption process has started things we have done:
Bishops reference
4 other references
Back ground checks
Finger prints
Callie's physical
Submitted Applications
To do:
Brandon's physical
Darcie's physical
Letter to Birth Mother
photo collage
home study
We moved up Callie's 3 yr well child checkup so we could get our application done asap but we are having a hard time getting scheduled in at our Doctor so it didn't really matter. Callie's stats 2 weeks before her birthday are 23.2 lbs (still below the curve but she has closed the space between by half so that is great), 37 in. (50%). We are so grateful for Callie, we couldn't imagine our lives with out her!! She is a spit fire (in Grandpa Dayton's words) and she keeps thing very interesting and yes, sometimes she can drive me crazy but I wouldn't have it any other way!
I'm so nervous and worried about the letter to the birth mother because I do not have a way with words. I know I just need to just jump in and get started but seriously this is the scariest part for me.
This month is a busy month for us Mothers Day, Brandon's birthday, our 7th Anniversary, Callie's birthday, Memorial day and Taylor's birthday.
On Saturday my Mom came down and just hung out with us and got to relax. We got our garden pretty much planted minus a few things we will get at the Sugar High School's Green house sale. Then we made oh so yummy Lettuce Wraps for her mothers day gift. My sister in law found P.F. Changs recipe and is pretty much just as good and going there so if I never get to go to P.F. Changs ever again it will be ok. Maybe I will post that recipe later.
Brandon did a side job and got me a beautiful picture of the Rexburg Temple as trade from Travis Gugelman for Mothers Day. He is an AMAZING photographer. Thank you Brandon.
Brandon's birthday is on Thursday and our Anniversary on the 24th and I want to thank him for everything he does for me! He is my best friend, he can read me like a book, he can cook, he can make me laugh when I just want to be mad at him, he is Mr. Fix it and a great DAD. Callie and I love you so much.
Memorial Day is getting closer and I don't think Sophie and Chloe's Headstone will be done in time to set up. Oh well. We picked out this beautiful stone it is called Blue Pearl and it is very sparkly. Last year we bought a flower for Memorial day to put on James' grave then we planted it in front of our house and it still hasn't came up. I hope it comes up soon so we can use it again. I can't remember the name of it but it is has a bunch of beautiful orange flowers and I think it had star in the name. Anyone know what it could be?
Ok well that is enough Randomness!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
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What I Wish Everyone Knew
I wish everyone knew that this hurt never goes away. We still need support, and I still need to hear my son and daughters' name. Now, even more than before, I NEED to have their lives validated.
I wish everyone knew ....that even though my babies' deaths were the most painful experience of my life, I am grateful for the pain, and I would still choose to have them even knowing that it would end the same....and I would give anything to cuddle them in my arms again, if only for a brief moment.
I wish everyone knew... that my heart leaps with joy every time someone asks me about my babies.
I wish everyone knew that a baby's age or size at birth or death does not determine to how much of a person he or she was or how much they will be loved or missed.
I wish everyone knew that an early miscarriage and/or losing a tiny baby is just as difficult and painful as losing any other child.
I wish everyone knew how much I need to talk about mybabies, and how happy it makes me when someone asks about them.
I wish everyone knew the struggle that I go through everyday to answer the simplest questions, like: How many children do you have?
I wish everyone knew it is ok to talk about my loss.
I wish everyone knew that I think of my babies all the time.
I wish everyone knew that I have completely changed because of my experiences.
I wish everyone knew how much I love and miss my babies.
I wish everyone knew how much I need to talk about them and remember them.
I wish everyone knew what it felt like to hold them, still, perfect, breathtaking and have to leave them.
I wish everyone knew what it felt like to long for just 1 more second with their baby. Maybe then they could truly cherish all the billions of seconds they get with theirs.
I wish everyone knew that us mommies who lose our babies carry them with us everywhere we go...for the rest of our lives...and to say we are changed...is putting it rather lightly.
I wish everyone knew and appreciated what an absolute miracle each and every child is, from conception to birth, viable and enviable.
I wish everyone knew that even though I can smile and go to work and "function" like everyone else, I'm not like everyone else.
I wish everyone knew that even if you don't know what to say to me, saying nothing at all is more painful than you can imagine. Ignoring me and never speaking to me again because it makes you uncomfortable to be around me is worse than being uncomfortable or saying the wrong thing.
I wish everyone knew ....that even though my babies' deaths were the most painful experience of my life, I am grateful for the pain, and I would still choose to have them even knowing that it would end the same....and I would give anything to cuddle them in my arms again, if only for a brief moment.
I wish everyone knew... that my heart leaps with joy every time someone asks me about my babies.
I wish everyone knew that a baby's age or size at birth or death does not determine to how much of a person he or she was or how much they will be loved or missed.
I wish everyone knew that an early miscarriage and/or losing a tiny baby is just as difficult and painful as losing any other child.
I wish everyone knew how much I need to talk about mybabies, and how happy it makes me when someone asks about them.
I wish everyone knew the struggle that I go through everyday to answer the simplest questions, like: How many children do you have?
I wish everyone knew it is ok to talk about my loss.
I wish everyone knew that I think of my babies all the time.
I wish everyone knew that I have completely changed because of my experiences.
I wish everyone knew how much I love and miss my babies.
I wish everyone knew how much I need to talk about them and remember them.
I wish everyone knew what it felt like to hold them, still, perfect, breathtaking and have to leave them.
I wish everyone knew what it felt like to long for just 1 more second with their baby. Maybe then they could truly cherish all the billions of seconds they get with theirs.
I wish everyone knew that us mommies who lose our babies carry them with us everywhere we go...for the rest of our lives...and to say we are changed...is putting it rather lightly.
I wish everyone knew and appreciated what an absolute miracle each and every child is, from conception to birth, viable and enviable.
I wish everyone knew that even though I can smile and go to work and "function" like everyone else, I'm not like everyone else.
I wish everyone knew that even if you don't know what to say to me, saying nothing at all is more painful than you can imagine. Ignoring me and never speaking to me again because it makes you uncomfortable to be around me is worse than being uncomfortable or saying the wrong thing.
3 comments:
Oh Darcie I sure hope this adoption process goes well for you. I really do, you deserve a baby in your arms so much!
You guys do have a full month - have FUN!
I am so sorry the headstones won't be done in time for memorial day. "They" called me and Rabecca's is done and they said it would even be installed before Memorial Day - so I am excited. I can't wait to see the "sparkly" headstone for your girls!
I LOVE that beautiful flower! I too hope it will grow!
You are busy arn't you? I can't believe that you are so far ahead with your adoption process. Good for you! And don't worry about the letter, you will find the words to convey what your heart wants to say.
And I love your flower that you planted. I think I am going to have to find one for my garden. I got an orhcid for Gage. I love it! Good luck with it all!
Congrats on starting the adoption process! That is so exciting! I'm sure the words will come to write your letter! I can't wait to see a picture of the girls' headstone. I hope Memorial day was nice for you!
And yes, post the recipe for the lettuce wraps! YUM YUM!
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