Thursday, December 18, 2008

Grandma Ricks

I was at Albertsons yesterday and got some of the Cuties Oranges and they came in this bag. Well when I emptied it out it brought back a lot of memories from when Dallen and I were babysat by our Grandma Ricks. She used to save these bags and we would play with them all the time(like this). Then I started thinking about everything else we did with Grandma Ricks like, blowing bubbles with old thread spools, watching Betty Boop, learning how to sew on buttons, making peanut butter and honey sandwiches(how she always mixed the peanut butter and honey to the right consistency before spreading it on the bread), learning how to use her sewing machine, and taking naps. Yesterday I missed my Grandma Ricks VERY much! She passed away in 1995 and I don't think it hit me until yesterday when I decided to let my daughter do one of the things I remembered so well at my Grandma Ricks'.
I love you Grandma!

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1 comment:

Jessica said...

Oh MAN! I totally have those days, when my Grandma Beard is on my mind ALL day long. I break out one of her recipes and just start bawling. I have so many memories since we lived right next door to her.
What a great post - LOVE it!

1:04 PM

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What I Wish Everyone Knew

I wish everyone knew that this hurt never goes away. We still need support, and I still need to hear my son and daughters' name. Now, even more than before, I NEED to have their lives validated.

I wish everyone knew ....that even though my babies' deaths were the most painful experience of my life, I am grateful for the pain, and I would still choose to have them even knowing that it would end the same....and I would give anything to cuddle them in my arms again, if only for a brief moment.

I wish everyone knew... that my heart leaps with joy every time someone asks me about my babies.

I wish everyone knew that a baby's age or size at birth or death does not determine to how much of a person he or she was or how much they will be loved or missed.

I wish everyone knew that an early miscarriage and/or losing a tiny baby is just as difficult and painful as losing any other child.

I wish everyone knew how much I need to talk about mybabies, and how happy it makes me when someone asks about them.

I wish everyone knew the struggle that I go through everyday to answer the simplest questions, like: How many children do you have?

I wish everyone knew it is ok to talk about my loss.

I wish everyone knew that I think of my babies all the time.

I wish everyone knew that I have completely changed because of my experiences.

I wish everyone knew how much I love and miss my babies.

I wish everyone knew how much I need to talk about them and remember them.

I wish everyone knew what it felt like to hold them, still, perfect, breathtaking and have to leave them.

I wish everyone knew what it felt like to long for just 1 more second with their baby. Maybe then they could truly cherish all the billions of seconds they get with theirs.

I wish everyone knew that us mommies who lose our babies carry them with us everywhere we go...for the rest of our lives...and to say we are changed...is putting it rather lightly.

I wish everyone knew and appreciated what an absolute miracle each and every child is, from conception to birth, viable and enviable.

I wish everyone knew that even though I can smile and go to work and "function" like everyone else, I'm not like everyone else.

I wish everyone knew that even if you don't know what to say to me, saying nothing at all is more painful than you can imagine. Ignoring me and never speaking to me again because it makes you uncomfortable to be around me is worse than being uncomfortable or saying the wrong thing.